so mom and i were on the phone friday and she mentioned that she'd like to see david cook in concert at the ohio state fair. after some searching and a phone call, i found someone who had two tickets listed on craigslist. i'm always a bit freaked out by the idea of meeting a complete stranger somewhere to purchase what could always be fake tickets. i've bought osu tickets before in this way and have never had an issue though, so i decided to meet this donald character at a walmart. just to be on the semi-safe side (perhaps a wee bit paranoid side) i jotted down all of his info i had (first name and phone number) on a sheet of paper and left it on my car seat. all turned out well though, he even had some old lady in the car with him (maybe his mom?). i grabbed my tickets and went off to brunch for the french toast i had been dying for for the previous three days.
yesterday mom and i headed to the fair a bit early because we were wanting an elephant ear. after parking a bit away, though not off in the grass like many, we made our way into the fair. now, i hate fairs, i really do. they're crowded, they smell (not that that's a factor right now for me) and it's usually hot. but the allure of an elephant ear got me there. we ordered one to split and the man covered it in so much sugar that mom had to shake most off before it was edible. after the ear we went into the celeste center.
we found our seats and tried to get comfortable. i say tried because this place was obviously designed in the 1950's, way before the expansion of the american ass. these things were TINY. they were also rock hard. while waiting, we noticed a man in a green baseball hat fucking around with a guy on the crowd. we were up in the mezzanine and we could see the floor clearly. at first, we wondered if this guy was just special, but upon further watching, we realized that he was working. it seemed his job was to entertain the crowd by fucking with people. he was quite good at it. i wonder how a person would advertise his/her services for this kind of thing?? so, he kept us busy (guess he earned his pay) while we people watched and unfortunately listened to the conversation of the two redneck twats behind us. this couple was a young pair who found it necessary to comment on everyone around them. i really wanted to give them a piece of my mind when they got nasty about the adorable gay couple in front of us, but i behaved (for once). david cook's brother was walking around before the show taking pictures with people. girls were actually lined up to do this. um...just because your brother is famous (ish) YOU are not at all.
the opening band was pretty good. they were called green river ordinance. they had a few songs that i may check out on itunes today. while they were on, i noticed that across the floor, there was an interpreter working. i was too far away to see her face (all i know is she was left handed and blonde, shoulder length hair and maybe 40ish). when david cook came on he commented about her. he said "this is so cool. we are so in the 90's with our concerts, i've never done this before." then he asked her if she'd like to go on the road with them. he seemed a bit thrown off by her presence all night, but didn't fuck with her too bad as some performers may do. he was silly during his talks between songs, allowing his personality to show through. at one point he said "you , come up here with the shirt. you know who you are." soon a girl came to the front carrying a shirt which she threw up to dc. it said "i *heart* david arculetta" on it. dc got quite a laugh over it and told his stage manager to make sure the girl had a "proper" shirt. then he draped the shirt over the speaker at the front of the stage for the entire show. all in all, the show was good. he sounded very good and they played for about an hour.
today i've been taking it easy and trying to relax. not so easy when you have a cat who refuses to shit in her litterbox. this cat is about to find a new home. i went today and got a second box (again) and put a different type of litter in it (again) to see if she'll use that. it took every bit of my willpower to not strangle her today after cleaning up pile #5 (yes in one morning). then i got to clean for a few hours. justin was in the valley and promised he'd be home "early" it currently 445p and he's not here yet. early my ass. so he got out of cleaning this weekend. i'm a crabby mess today, so i'm going to try to chill out for a bit.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
august? where did you come from?
time feels like its crawling and yet speeding by at the same time. i can't believe its august already. in the same breath though, i want it go go by faster so i can get back to a semblance of normal.
i've always heard that pregnancy is a wonderful experience for some and a terrible one for others. i am finding myself in the middle of that spectrum. its not terrible now that i'm able to keep my head out of the toilet. but its certainly not what i would call "wonderful". i know many who say they love being preggo, and i can't imagine myself ever saying that.
things seem to be going well as far as marvin is concerned. the big day is coming up soon. aug 17th we go to find out what sex marvin is. then there will be no more marvin, but a little jack or olivia. all along, i've been thinking/feeling that marvin is a chick, but have had my fingers crossed for a boy. i know, i know, either way, so long as its healthy it really doesn't matter. and it doesn't. i just want to know either way so i can plan.
that's the big change in me that i've noticed lately. maybe its due to getting older, or maybe its a desperate attempt to control that which i can not. i've been becoming increasingly dependent on a schedule and planning. i've been finding myself trying to plan things out to the smallest detail. this is causing my brain to go into overdrive at night, and i'm not sleeping well. this lack of sleep is probably my biggest bitch abt being preggo right now. (that and perhaps the amazingly bad acne..wtf hormones...wtf??)
i feel like we have so much to do before marvin comes, and no money to do it. i'm like a woman obsessed with all of this crap, when all i really want to do is relax. again, #1 reason pregnancy is not wonderful for me. on a good note, i think i've felt a few flutters from within that i can't attribute to gas (for once!) and that was very cool. i like the idea of feeling marvin move around. it helps me realize that everything is ok in there.
eh..i don't know if i even have a point today. my thoughts somehow don't make much sense sometimes. (i think the little bugger has sucked out my intelligence along with my energy)
i've always heard that pregnancy is a wonderful experience for some and a terrible one for others. i am finding myself in the middle of that spectrum. its not terrible now that i'm able to keep my head out of the toilet. but its certainly not what i would call "wonderful". i know many who say they love being preggo, and i can't imagine myself ever saying that.
things seem to be going well as far as marvin is concerned. the big day is coming up soon. aug 17th we go to find out what sex marvin is. then there will be no more marvin, but a little jack or olivia. all along, i've been thinking/feeling that marvin is a chick, but have had my fingers crossed for a boy. i know, i know, either way, so long as its healthy it really doesn't matter. and it doesn't. i just want to know either way so i can plan.
that's the big change in me that i've noticed lately. maybe its due to getting older, or maybe its a desperate attempt to control that which i can not. i've been becoming increasingly dependent on a schedule and planning. i've been finding myself trying to plan things out to the smallest detail. this is causing my brain to go into overdrive at night, and i'm not sleeping well. this lack of sleep is probably my biggest bitch abt being preggo right now. (that and perhaps the amazingly bad acne..wtf hormones...wtf??)
i feel like we have so much to do before marvin comes, and no money to do it. i'm like a woman obsessed with all of this crap, when all i really want to do is relax. again, #1 reason pregnancy is not wonderful for me. on a good note, i think i've felt a few flutters from within that i can't attribute to gas (for once!) and that was very cool. i like the idea of feeling marvin move around. it helps me realize that everything is ok in there.
eh..i don't know if i even have a point today. my thoughts somehow don't make much sense sometimes. (i think the little bugger has sucked out my intelligence along with my energy)
Monday, July 13, 2009
what dreams may come
so i've been reading all about pregnancy-the horror stories and especially the tales of what this state does to one's body. through this self education, i'm learning about all kinds of terrible things---heartburn, hemorrhoids, gas, weird dreams, and the one that frightens me most___my feet may grow up to a size, thus rendering my lovely shoe collection worthless!!
this blog serves as an outlet for me, and today i thought i'd use it to chronicle a few of the weird ass dreams i had just in the last two days. i've been having weird dreams since marvin came along, and i've been meaning to write them down. i haven't...most are strikingly vivid and very realistic. i remember most in long chunks, though there are some that are just images.
Friday night:
i snap awake at this point, all kinds of creeped out. This is the dream from last night/this morning. it's a bit of a two parter, as i think i had one and then woke up (probably to pee again). when i went back to sleep, i had another with a few of the same characters. part 1
this blog serves as an outlet for me, and today i thought i'd use it to chronicle a few of the weird ass dreams i had just in the last two days. i've been having weird dreams since marvin came along, and i've been meaning to write them down. i haven't...most are strikingly vivid and very realistic. i remember most in long chunks, though there are some that are just images.
Friday night:
i am at the home of a long time girl friend. this house is not the one she lives in now, nor is it her childhood home. we are both there and so are her parents and her brother. there is a terrible tornado. i remember seeing the very black sky whipping around us. debris is everywhere. shockingly, there is absolutely NO damage done to the house or anyone in it. when it settles down, i decide to take a shower. i go into the bathroom and do so. when i'm done, i get out and with a towel wrapped around me i begin to brush my (dry) hair. all of a sudden i hear a noise behind me. i turn around, heart pounding. there in the closet behind me is my friend's dad, watching me. he comes over to me and takes me by the shoulders. then he strokes my hair. "pretty" he says.
i snap awake at this point, all kinds of creeped out. This is the dream from last night/this morning. it's a bit of a two parter, as i think i had one and then woke up (probably to pee again). when i went back to sleep, i had another with a few of the same characters. part 1
i am at an amusement park with all of the boyz and their wives. we are all sitting loosely around some picnic tables, and we're eating. i notice that the boy next to me (i shall leave names out to protect the innocent) looks very sad and upset. so i ask what's up. he looks at me and says, " you know that situation you're in?" eying my big belly.
"yes"
"i'm in it too. we just found out."
"OH! well, congratulations??" and i look at him knowing he's not happy.
"i don't think so. we're fucked."
"well, when's it due to be here?"
"september"
now, somehow i know that its august in my dream. and i'm shocked that they kept it a secret from everyone for so long. i'm also a bit jealous that someone else in the group will have a baby before mine is due to show up. before i can say anything more, he gets up and walks away. while he's gone, his wife begins talking loudly..
"so i had no idea what was wrong. the dr kept running all these tests."
another wife i can't see says, "what made you go in the first place?"
"my face was all swollen."
so i say, " how far along are you?"
she says, "i don't know."
"well, honey, didn't they do an ultrasound? measure your belly?"
she gets angry at me and yells, " I said i don't know!"
"yes"
"i'm in it too. we just found out."
"OH! well, congratulations??" and i look at him knowing he's not happy.
"i don't think so. we're fucked."
"well, when's it due to be here?"
"september"
now, somehow i know that its august in my dream. and i'm shocked that they kept it a secret from everyone for so long. i'm also a bit jealous that someone else in the group will have a baby before mine is due to show up. before i can say anything more, he gets up and walks away. while he's gone, his wife begins talking loudly..
"so i had no idea what was wrong. the dr kept running all these tests."
another wife i can't see says, "what made you go in the first place?"
"my face was all swollen."
so i say, " how far along are you?"
she says, "i don't know."
"well, honey, didn't they do an ultrasound? measure your belly?"
she gets angry at me and yells, " I said i don't know!"
the second part of this involves the same husband and wife from the amusement park...
then i wake up to my alarm. see what i mean? super weird and nonsensical. damn these hormones!
i'm driving back from the valley and it's very late. i'm really tired and call the guy and ask if it's ok for me to crash at their place because i'm so tired and i don't think i can make it home. (side note-this makes no sense in real life because they live not too far away from our place) he says sure, c'mon over. next thing i know, i'm there and he's at the door. he shushes me and leads me upstairs (real life- they have a flat apt) to the spare bedroom in the dark. the whole time he's silent. there are a pile of sheets crumpled up on the bed.
"you'll have to make it, but they're clean." he says.
"k, thanks"
then he starts to make the bed and i open my bag and change into my pj's. he then says, "she doesn't know you're here, so get up early and leave." then he goes into his room, which is right next to where i am. soon i hear her screaming at him "what do you mean someone's here?" the start to argue and i sit there, on my knees at the side of the bed. my elbows are on the mattress (think old school little kid prayer position) and i'm silently pulling out hundreds of straight pins from my palms. next thing i know, she comes into the room and screams at me to leave. i gather my things and go out the door. i find myself in the ghetto (again not where they live) and i can't find my car. i keep hitting the unlock on my keys, hoping to see my headlights flash.
"you'll have to make it, but they're clean." he says.
"k, thanks"
then he starts to make the bed and i open my bag and change into my pj's. he then says, "she doesn't know you're here, so get up early and leave." then he goes into his room, which is right next to where i am. soon i hear her screaming at him "what do you mean someone's here?" the start to argue and i sit there, on my knees at the side of the bed. my elbows are on the mattress (think old school little kid prayer position) and i'm silently pulling out hundreds of straight pins from my palms. next thing i know, she comes into the room and screams at me to leave. i gather my things and go out the door. i find myself in the ghetto (again not where they live) and i can't find my car. i keep hitting the unlock on my keys, hoping to see my headlights flash.
then i wake up to my alarm. see what i mean? super weird and nonsensical. damn these hormones!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
frank and beans!
by far, THE best line i've heard in ages was this, " uncle juddy, is your peebug ok?"
i had just finished explaining to jake why it was very important that he tuck his "stuff" into his jeans before zipping. to further illustrate my point, i told him how his uncle had, just the night before while in a drunken haze, forgotten this oh-so-very-important-tidbit while at the bar. i also told him that now his poor uncle now had a boo boo on his you-know-whats-it and how he couldn't possibly want the same thing to happen to him. now, when i was telling this very important life lesson to the tot, uncle was no where around. so i think it goes without saying that this surprise question (which was full of earnest concern) caught all of us off guard...especially uncle juddy, who promptly replied by turning about eight different shades of purple before groaning, "aw...who told him?" i must say that we all had a good chuckle at my hubby's expense. he was a very good sport about it though, and even provided some details of the carnage to make everyone groan and laugh. poor guy....all i can say is OUCH
the other very good line i heard came from none other than the peebug damaged man himself. the same night the injury occurred, he decided to go to a local bar with his dad and his dad's good friend to play some pool. lots of beer flowed and by the time i showed up (damn pregger dd) he was feeling no pain (this is a good thing, since the something about mary incident happened early on in the night) he even filled me in on what had happened (off to the side out of earshot of all), which helped to clarify the message i'd received earlier simply stating "i hurt myself". after hanging out for about an hour, we grabbed pizza and headed home. some drunken and pregnant late night pigging out happened (lemme tell ya...it had to be like watching lions feed to the casual observer) after which we all parted ways to go to bed. jus was in an unusual chatty mood and decided to ramble away for awhile when we got to bed. this was all fine and good, even though i was exhausted. but THIS line woke me up and had me all confused. the conversation went like this:
c "go to bed would ya?"
j " you know what you should do? you should sell your vagina to msnbc."
c" WHAT?!?!?"
j "or fox"
and then he passed out. lol i'm still not sure what the fuck he was talking about, but i did wonder if somewhere deep in that drunk mind of his he though of my girly bits as used and ruined and figured we should try to get a little cash out of it since we will soon have a marvin to support. i'm not sure, but i made sure to tell everyone that he said this, including his mom, who didn't find it the least bit funny.
the next day i reminded him of his brilliant entrepreneurial idea and he got all embarrassed and swore he didn't remember saying that. then he said it totally sucked that i was always sober now because any other time, i would have laughed my ass off but conveniently forgotten it the next day. how true darling, how true...but remember.....
"YOU DID THIS TO ME!"
i had just finished explaining to jake why it was very important that he tuck his "stuff" into his jeans before zipping. to further illustrate my point, i told him how his uncle had, just the night before while in a drunken haze, forgotten this oh-so-very-important-tidbit while at the bar. i also told him that now his poor uncle now had a boo boo on his you-know-whats-it and how he couldn't possibly want the same thing to happen to him. now, when i was telling this very important life lesson to the tot, uncle was no where around. so i think it goes without saying that this surprise question (which was full of earnest concern) caught all of us off guard...especially uncle juddy, who promptly replied by turning about eight different shades of purple before groaning, "aw...who told him?" i must say that we all had a good chuckle at my hubby's expense. he was a very good sport about it though, and even provided some details of the carnage to make everyone groan and laugh. poor guy....all i can say is OUCH
the other very good line i heard came from none other than the peebug damaged man himself. the same night the injury occurred, he decided to go to a local bar with his dad and his dad's good friend to play some pool. lots of beer flowed and by the time i showed up (damn pregger dd) he was feeling no pain (this is a good thing, since the something about mary incident happened early on in the night) he even filled me in on what had happened (off to the side out of earshot of all), which helped to clarify the message i'd received earlier simply stating "i hurt myself". after hanging out for about an hour, we grabbed pizza and headed home. some drunken and pregnant late night pigging out happened (lemme tell ya...it had to be like watching lions feed to the casual observer) after which we all parted ways to go to bed. jus was in an unusual chatty mood and decided to ramble away for awhile when we got to bed. this was all fine and good, even though i was exhausted. but THIS line woke me up and had me all confused. the conversation went like this:
c "go to bed would ya?"
j " you know what you should do? you should sell your vagina to msnbc."
c" WHAT?!?!?"
j "or fox"
and then he passed out. lol i'm still not sure what the fuck he was talking about, but i did wonder if somewhere deep in that drunk mind of his he though of my girly bits as used and ruined and figured we should try to get a little cash out of it since we will soon have a marvin to support. i'm not sure, but i made sure to tell everyone that he said this, including his mom, who didn't find it the least bit funny.
the next day i reminded him of his brilliant entrepreneurial idea and he got all embarrassed and swore he didn't remember saying that. then he said it totally sucked that i was always sober now because any other time, i would have laughed my ass off but conveniently forgotten it the next day. how true darling, how true...but remember.....
"YOU DID THIS TO ME!"
Thursday, July 2, 2009
my list 'o rants
ok, i feel the need to preface this by saying that i am honestly looking forward to this whole baby thing. it's a surreal experience, but not an all bad one. that being said, there are many things that i have discovered so far that i do NOT like about being pregnant. i'm sure this list will change, and possibly grow as i grow (hardy har har) but here goes nothin':
*i hate having tums for dessert-everything i eat these days gives me heartburn bad enough to rattle my kneecaps
*speaking of eating, i hate that i'm ALWAYS eating. i feel like a zoo animal! can't miss my feeding or there WILL be hell to pay
* i hate that i've worked so hard to lose weight and now and too bloated to button my pants! i know, i know--this is a beautiful thing and it will all be worth it...but damn it! i've spent so much money and time in the past year on losing weight that i could have just gone on a nice vacation and had plastic surgery after marvin gets here instead!!
*and while we're on the subject of clothes--i bought this be band thingy to wear over my now too small pants. this tube top looking contraption allows me to walk around with my pants undone and it holds them up for me. nice concept yes? however..this thing is so tight that when i go to pee, i have to yank it up around my middle. this forces all my fat to either swell over the damn thing or squish under it. i have always avoided such lovely things as spanx and girdles because the idea of wrestling my fat into a tight garment holds no glamour in my eyes. now i have to do it about every 30 min because i pee that damn often. like wrestling with bacon fat and trying to stuff it into a drinking straw
* and while i am feeling better...i really don't like the looks that some people get on their faces when i am feeling bad. they kinda smirk with this shit-eating look and say helpful things like "ooo not feeling well?" or ""heehee looks like someone needs crackers" ok people, i'm not a 4 yr old with an owie...stop the freaking baby talk!
* and while we're on the subject of people...people people people!!!! i've received more unsolicited advice in the past few weeks than i can recount. i DO NOT want to hear about how long you were in labor, or about your water breaking, or about how much labor hurts. i don't need to know why/how your child refused to "latch on", nor do i need details about your afterbirth!
*and i saved the best for last---i miss wine!! i miss relaxing at the end of the day with a nice glass of red. i miss curling up with a book and a good bottle. sighs....
*i hate having tums for dessert-everything i eat these days gives me heartburn bad enough to rattle my kneecaps
*speaking of eating, i hate that i'm ALWAYS eating. i feel like a zoo animal! can't miss my feeding or there WILL be hell to pay
* i hate that i've worked so hard to lose weight and now and too bloated to button my pants! i know, i know--this is a beautiful thing and it will all be worth it...but damn it! i've spent so much money and time in the past year on losing weight that i could have just gone on a nice vacation and had plastic surgery after marvin gets here instead!!
*and while we're on the subject of clothes--i bought this be band thingy to wear over my now too small pants. this tube top looking contraption allows me to walk around with my pants undone and it holds them up for me. nice concept yes? however..this thing is so tight that when i go to pee, i have to yank it up around my middle. this forces all my fat to either swell over the damn thing or squish under it. i have always avoided such lovely things as spanx and girdles because the idea of wrestling my fat into a tight garment holds no glamour in my eyes. now i have to do it about every 30 min because i pee that damn often. like wrestling with bacon fat and trying to stuff it into a drinking straw
* and while i am feeling better...i really don't like the looks that some people get on their faces when i am feeling bad. they kinda smirk with this shit-eating look and say helpful things like "ooo not feeling well?" or ""heehee looks like someone needs crackers" ok people, i'm not a 4 yr old with an owie...stop the freaking baby talk!
* and while we're on the subject of people...people people people!!!! i've received more unsolicited advice in the past few weeks than i can recount. i DO NOT want to hear about how long you were in labor, or about your water breaking, or about how much labor hurts. i don't need to know why/how your child refused to "latch on", nor do i need details about your afterbirth!
*and i saved the best for last---i miss wine!! i miss relaxing at the end of the day with a nice glass of red. i miss curling up with a book and a good bottle. sighs....
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
i'm alive!
i haven't blogged in ages...
i was afraid that i'd have nothing to talk about except THE NEWS and i didn't want to share that too early
this may become a wee bit tmi (for you boy or sensitive readers)
i've been on the pill since i was 15. that means 15 years of my body not having to regulate its own hormones and such...that's a long ass time. i decided to quit the pill last year in late sept. to ready myself for the BIG BOOB SURGERY. i had read about the links between the pill and clotting after surgery and that scared the ever-lovin shit outta me. and so i kissed the all too familiar pink pack goodbye and prepared myself for a life with a period every month (i was on those cool pills that allowed for one every three months) things seemed to jump right back to normal and all was well...
again...tmi--i had my "auntie" visit me on new years and then she seemed to pack up and move out. every passing month was a pseudo tense one. i like to get my drink on and have been known to smoke on occasion. let's not lie---i get my drink on way too often but i blame justin. he's a beer at night to relax kinda guy and i all too willingly joined his little club. but at the same time, i was all paranoid that i was knockered up and unwittingly causing all kinds of damage to the little thing and that it was sure to be born with flippers or something. as a result i began buying pregnancy tests monthly and peeing on the stick began somewhat of a habit. (on an interesting side note, even though i am 30, each time i would pee on the stick i would have that "oh shit, if that 2nd line pops up i'm gonna have to tell mom! feeling)
my doctor kept giving me these pills that he swore would "kick start my flow", but they never seemed to kick start anything except a wave of crazy ass emotions that i could live without (ie. bawling on the kitchen floor in front of the open fridge because we are out of coke) and by april/may, i'd figured that i'd sunk enough money into ept and decided that money was better spent on liquer, so i quit the habitual peeing on a stick.
my doctor decided to run a whole lot of blood tests to see what the hell was making me all wonky (hold the comments peanut gallery)..first he tested the thyroid...normal...then he checked some other shit ( i may have been too drunk and or bored to pay attention to what he was looking for) everything was coming out just fine...so then he pops this one on me..."i think we need to test some other hormone levels...you may be infertile." gulp---ok
around the same time, i started to wonder when the hell my flu was going to go away (see where i'm headed don't cha?) i went to my training session one wed and damn near fainted and had myself a proper asthma attack for the first time in ages. now because i am a chick, anytime my tummy has so much of a twinge, the first thing i think is " oh god am i knocked up?" this is always made worse when i call my mother and she says " you're not pregnant are you?" so i rooted around under my bathroom sink and found a test...peed...sweet jebus! is that a faint 2nd line??? quickly i grab another test, say a quick thanks to my trainer for forcing me to drink so much damned water that i CAN pee right away again....3 min later---its so faint i think i'm seeing things.... i call mom..she suggests a calm down and not get myself too worked up, the test results are due from the dr on monday...MONDAY!!! ITS FRIDAY!! i can't wait a whole weekend...
i text my friend chris with my dilemma and he quickly calls me a dumbass and tells me to hightail it to cvs and get the test WITH FUCKING WORDS. brilliant plan...i manage to stop puking long enough to make the 2 min trip. i come home armed with 3 more tests..all the kind that show words and not pesky lines...
"holy shit! there's no NOT in front of that pregnant word!!!"
i quickly snap a picture and email it to justin and chris. i call my mom. she keeps saying that i need to not get my hopes up and wait for the doc. justin replies with a simple, all encompassing--"wow" followed later by an incredulous "my boys can swim?"
nurse calls monday--"are you sitting down? you're pregnant!"
wow wow wow
we make an appt since we have no idea how far i could be. 6 weeks. i'm instantly hit with pangs of guilt...during my wee pregnancy i had already broken damn near every rule- i had been drunk (hammered) a few times, gotten a tattoo and even shared a joint with friends...christ.....
turns out all is ok so far though...i'm now 10 1/2 weeks and everything looks ok.
this is our 9 week photo
we call it "marvin" due to its resemblance to marvin the martian. mom's not too thrilled with our name but too bad mama! lol i'm slowly feeling better. i was so sick for a couple of weeks that i could read or even look at the computer screen without yakking. (thus another reason for my absence) thank goodness i graduated from school right before all the bad sickness ran me over!
and now, i'm attempting to deal with all the crazy emotions that marvin brings. we're happy, no doubt there, but i've been a rollercoaster of crazy. most recently, was me crying into my bowl of potatoes because i was hungry but i didn't want potatoes...but i kept eating them!!! oy vey--i've never been such a mess!
anyhow---off to the gym...hopefully i will update again soon!
i was afraid that i'd have nothing to talk about except THE NEWS and i didn't want to share that too early
this may become a wee bit tmi (for you boy or sensitive readers)
i've been on the pill since i was 15. that means 15 years of my body not having to regulate its own hormones and such...that's a long ass time. i decided to quit the pill last year in late sept. to ready myself for the BIG BOOB SURGERY. i had read about the links between the pill and clotting after surgery and that scared the ever-lovin shit outta me. and so i kissed the all too familiar pink pack goodbye and prepared myself for a life with a period every month (i was on those cool pills that allowed for one every three months) things seemed to jump right back to normal and all was well...
again...tmi--i had my "auntie" visit me on new years and then she seemed to pack up and move out. every passing month was a pseudo tense one. i like to get my drink on and have been known to smoke on occasion. let's not lie---i get my drink on way too often but i blame justin. he's a beer at night to relax kinda guy and i all too willingly joined his little club. but at the same time, i was all paranoid that i was knockered up and unwittingly causing all kinds of damage to the little thing and that it was sure to be born with flippers or something. as a result i began buying pregnancy tests monthly and peeing on the stick began somewhat of a habit. (on an interesting side note, even though i am 30, each time i would pee on the stick i would have that "oh shit, if that 2nd line pops up i'm gonna have to tell mom! feeling)
my doctor kept giving me these pills that he swore would "kick start my flow", but they never seemed to kick start anything except a wave of crazy ass emotions that i could live without (ie. bawling on the kitchen floor in front of the open fridge because we are out of coke) and by april/may, i'd figured that i'd sunk enough money into ept and decided that money was better spent on liquer, so i quit the habitual peeing on a stick.
my doctor decided to run a whole lot of blood tests to see what the hell was making me all wonky (hold the comments peanut gallery)..first he tested the thyroid...normal...then he checked some other shit ( i may have been too drunk and or bored to pay attention to what he was looking for) everything was coming out just fine...so then he pops this one on me..."i think we need to test some other hormone levels...you may be infertile." gulp---ok
around the same time, i started to wonder when the hell my flu was going to go away (see where i'm headed don't cha?) i went to my training session one wed and damn near fainted and had myself a proper asthma attack for the first time in ages. now because i am a chick, anytime my tummy has so much of a twinge, the first thing i think is " oh god am i knocked up?" this is always made worse when i call my mother and she says " you're not pregnant are you?" so i rooted around under my bathroom sink and found a test...peed...sweet jebus! is that a faint 2nd line??? quickly i grab another test, say a quick thanks to my trainer for forcing me to drink so much damned water that i CAN pee right away again....3 min later---its so faint i think i'm seeing things.... i call mom..she suggests a calm down and not get myself too worked up, the test results are due from the dr on monday...MONDAY!!! ITS FRIDAY!! i can't wait a whole weekend...
i text my friend chris with my dilemma and he quickly calls me a dumbass and tells me to hightail it to cvs and get the test WITH FUCKING WORDS. brilliant plan...i manage to stop puking long enough to make the 2 min trip. i come home armed with 3 more tests..all the kind that show words and not pesky lines...
"holy shit! there's no NOT in front of that pregnant word!!!"
i quickly snap a picture and email it to justin and chris. i call my mom. she keeps saying that i need to not get my hopes up and wait for the doc. justin replies with a simple, all encompassing--"wow" followed later by an incredulous "my boys can swim?"
nurse calls monday--"are you sitting down? you're pregnant!"
wow wow wow
we make an appt since we have no idea how far i could be. 6 weeks. i'm instantly hit with pangs of guilt...during my wee pregnancy i had already broken damn near every rule- i had been drunk (hammered) a few times, gotten a tattoo and even shared a joint with friends...christ.....
turns out all is ok so far though...i'm now 10 1/2 weeks and everything looks ok.
this is our 9 week photo
we call it "marvin" due to its resemblance to marvin the martian. mom's not too thrilled with our name but too bad mama! lol i'm slowly feeling better. i was so sick for a couple of weeks that i could read or even look at the computer screen without yakking. (thus another reason for my absence) thank goodness i graduated from school right before all the bad sickness ran me over!
and now, i'm attempting to deal with all the crazy emotions that marvin brings. we're happy, no doubt there, but i've been a rollercoaster of crazy. most recently, was me crying into my bowl of potatoes because i was hungry but i didn't want potatoes...but i kept eating them!!! oy vey--i've never been such a mess!
anyhow---off to the gym...hopefully i will update again soon!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
copay???? i don't think so!
when did doctors get so busy that they no longer care about the people they serve? That's right...they SERVE me, they provide a service. Now, i'm more than willing to pay them for their time. They provide a good service and one that i (unfortunately) must use often.
I got a new ent about a month ago. i'm always had sinus and allergy issues, but haven't had the insurance to see an ent in years. for my first visit, i budgeted 2 hrs of my time, thinking that i was waaay over estimating. well, it took 3. 10 minutes of the 3 hrs was spent with the dr, the rest was waiting. waiting in the waiting room, waiting in the exam room....waiting......
this dr also had a piss poor attitude about my hearing loss. i know i have hearing loss...i've come to terms with it. it was devastating at first....i'm over it. he acted like it was the worst news ever and even chided me for not wearing my hearing aids! (i ony wear them for work)
so, anyhow, he orders a cat scan of my head to see what's going on in there...
2nd visit- i ask specifically how long it would take and was told no more than an hour since all he had to do was go over the results. i book an hour, 230-330. I booked another dr appt for 345 that afternoon. i get there at 215, sign in and inform the lady that i had to leave at 330. then i sit....and sit..... 3pm rolls around and i'm still in the waiting room. i approach the front desk and inform her that i'm now 30 min past my appt time and have 30 min left. i ask if they are running way behind and if i should reschedule. she says no and that they will see me right away.
so i go in the back and sit....and sit... the nurse comes in and checks my vitals. i stress to her that i have about 10 minutes left before i have to leave. she says no problem, the dr is aware an coming. 330 comes and no dr. so i gather my bag and leave. walking down the hallway i run into the dr and his intern.
"where are you going?", he says.
"i told them receptionist and your nurse that i had another appointment and had to leave at 330."
"well, what time is your appointment?"
"345, i have to go."
"well, its only 330."
"no, no, my appointment with YOU was an hour ago, 230."
"oh well....you're leaving? we haven't gone over your results." (this man is smart enough to be a dr eh?)
"yes, you see i respect people who block out time in their day for me. i show them this respect by showing up to appointments ON TIME, just like i did FOR YOU."
i continue down the hall and out into the lobby.
i'm walking out the door and the receptionist stops me by yelling my name.
"wait christy, you didn't pay your co-pay!"
i stop...and turn around thinking she surely must be mistaken. so, i tell her, "no, i didn't get to see the dr at all, i'm not paying."
"you owe $30 for a co-pay"
"i don't think you heard me...i didn't see the dr, i'm not paying a damn fee."
"ma'am watch your language"
"what??? who the fuck are you to tell me what i can and can not say? I'm not paying the god damned fee."
"christina, you have to stop cursing and pay your co-pay."
"who are you? my fucking mom? I don't think so (by now i'm not being quiet at all) i'm not paying your fucking co-pay, you can kiss my ass!"
at this point i turn to the room full of people (all adults -had there been children i would have made a better effort to censor myself) and announce, " i hope you all brought something to read and have nothing to do all day---you'll be here forever!"
and with that i stomped out. now, i'm not saying that my response was at all appropriate, but i'm not the type to keep quiet about how i feel and i'm definitely not the type to allow people to talk to me like they are my mother. i am an adult woman and i'll curse when and where i please. besides, had the dr seen me, we wouldn't have had that problem right????
I got a new ent about a month ago. i'm always had sinus and allergy issues, but haven't had the insurance to see an ent in years. for my first visit, i budgeted 2 hrs of my time, thinking that i was waaay over estimating. well, it took 3. 10 minutes of the 3 hrs was spent with the dr, the rest was waiting. waiting in the waiting room, waiting in the exam room....waiting......
this dr also had a piss poor attitude about my hearing loss. i know i have hearing loss...i've come to terms with it. it was devastating at first....i'm over it. he acted like it was the worst news ever and even chided me for not wearing my hearing aids! (i ony wear them for work)
so, anyhow, he orders a cat scan of my head to see what's going on in there...
2nd visit- i ask specifically how long it would take and was told no more than an hour since all he had to do was go over the results. i book an hour, 230-330. I booked another dr appt for 345 that afternoon. i get there at 215, sign in and inform the lady that i had to leave at 330. then i sit....and sit..... 3pm rolls around and i'm still in the waiting room. i approach the front desk and inform her that i'm now 30 min past my appt time and have 30 min left. i ask if they are running way behind and if i should reschedule. she says no and that they will see me right away.
so i go in the back and sit....and sit... the nurse comes in and checks my vitals. i stress to her that i have about 10 minutes left before i have to leave. she says no problem, the dr is aware an coming. 330 comes and no dr. so i gather my bag and leave. walking down the hallway i run into the dr and his intern.
"where are you going?", he says.
"i told them receptionist and your nurse that i had another appointment and had to leave at 330."
"well, what time is your appointment?"
"345, i have to go."
"well, its only 330."
"no, no, my appointment with YOU was an hour ago, 230."
"oh well....you're leaving? we haven't gone over your results." (this man is smart enough to be a dr eh?)
"yes, you see i respect people who block out time in their day for me. i show them this respect by showing up to appointments ON TIME, just like i did FOR YOU."
i continue down the hall and out into the lobby.
i'm walking out the door and the receptionist stops me by yelling my name.
"wait christy, you didn't pay your co-pay!"
i stop...and turn around thinking she surely must be mistaken. so, i tell her, "no, i didn't get to see the dr at all, i'm not paying."
"you owe $30 for a co-pay"
"i don't think you heard me...i didn't see the dr, i'm not paying a damn fee."
"ma'am watch your language"
"what??? who the fuck are you to tell me what i can and can not say? I'm not paying the god damned fee."
"christina, you have to stop cursing and pay your co-pay."
"who are you? my fucking mom? I don't think so (by now i'm not being quiet at all) i'm not paying your fucking co-pay, you can kiss my ass!"
at this point i turn to the room full of people (all adults -had there been children i would have made a better effort to censor myself) and announce, " i hope you all brought something to read and have nothing to do all day---you'll be here forever!"
and with that i stomped out. now, i'm not saying that my response was at all appropriate, but i'm not the type to keep quiet about how i feel and i'm definitely not the type to allow people to talk to me like they are my mother. i am an adult woman and i'll curse when and where i please. besides, had the dr seen me, we wouldn't have had that problem right????
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