Monday, March 8, 2010

the shit hit the fan!- well---- hit the baby!!

so last week i decided to begin our adventures in cloth diapering. i've been looking forward to using these diapers that a certain friend shelled out serious cash for, not to mention the savings on disposable diapers. (they are so costly) we got these diapers called fuzzi bunz one size diapers. they are what's known as pocket diapers and what's cool about them is they adjust to fit babies from 7 to 35 lbs. i put olivia in her first one and adjusted the elastics around her tummy and thighs, snapped it on and took a look at my sweet girl. SHE HAD THE BIGGEST BABY BOOTY EVER!!! due to the need for these diapers to fit big babies too, they are chunky on the butt. she has to wear pants a size up from her normal just to accommodate for the junk in her infant trunk. but that's ok with me if we're just chilling at home, so i found bigger pants and we rocked the cloth.

they've been working out pretty well with one exception. let me explain first that we purchased a sprayer that attaches to the toilet to *ahem* rinse the poo into the potty before the dirty diaper goes into the laundry. now, i was so excited to get into the cloth, i didn't wait to get this sprayer before we started wearing them.... BIG FAT MISTAKE!

last friday- i had one of those moments where you have to either laugh hysterically or sob, and you can, perhaps, get away with doing a bit of both. one of those moments when you're not sure if what just happened REALLY happened and you just don't know what to do next.

the day started out great. liv slept well all night, only waking up to eat and then passing back out. we were both up, showered and dressed by 9 am. (this, by the way, is an amazing feat--there are days that i'm not showered before 4 pm) we had to go to target. i wore my moby wrap (omg THE best thing i bought for us so far) and we were off....we were in the store not 5 minutes when she puked. due to the position she was in, this of course, ran down between my boobs. lovely...i shrug it off (oh what motherhood can do to you!) and keep shopping. she slowly begins to fuss..and then cry...and then wail. i'm rushing through the store like i'm a contestant in supermarket sweep. we cash out and get out to the car. i wrestle her into her car seat ( oh how she hates it) and think "when the car starts moving, she'll pass out. " WRONG!! she screamed all the way home!!!

about 15 very tense minutes later we get home and i lug everything into the house- screaming baby and all. my blood pressure was through the roof i'm sure. i drop everything(not the baby)and begin to warm up a bottle. a frantic 5 minutes later, we settle down. after eating, like any good baby, she decides to do a #2 in her cloth diaper. i change her, put her back in the moby, and scratch my head at this new dilemna. how to clean this bad boy without the sprayer??

i go into the bathroom and spy our shower has a long tube, the kind you can grab and bring into the tub ( i love this when rinsing my hair after dying it) so, i hang the nasty diaper over the toilet, grab the shower head and turn it on. the water hits the dipe at a speed not intended for bodily fluids. shit goes flying everywhere! on my face, on the floor, on the celing and toilet and all over the back of liv's head!!! at that very moment, my lovely little one pukes down the front of my shirt again. now i have a sopping wet diaper in one hand and a still running shower head in the other, i've got shit on my lips, eyes, face and puke lazily making its way to my belly button. i take the showerhead back to its rightful place, splashing water all over the floor. and now i've got a puddle. and the coup de gras, leia walked in, assessed the situation and promptly took a shit on the floor next to me. i just stood there for awhile, dripping, stinking, stewing....then i started to laugh. i laughed so hard I almost puked. liv kept watching me and smiling (evidently she didn't know about her shit covered head) what else could we do? everything and everyone got cleaned up and mommy brewed a nice strong pot of coffee. i only wish i'd had some booze to spike it with!