Monday, May 18, 2009

excuse me, you're in my bubble....

so i went to the store last week ("last week!"' you say....yes yes..i've been way too focused on homework and not nearly focused enough on my blogging...) anyhow...

picture wait, kroger in dublin. the hunny is gone for the weekend (woohoo) and all i want to do is have some me time. (not THAT kind of me time zachary.... our mothers read this)

lemme back up

so i took myself out to dinner for a yummy steak. i took my kindle with me for company..everywhere around me were tables full of family types. loud children ran around the joint like unleashed wild animals while the adults either continued to chew their cud, i mean food and ignore them, or ran around after them like the helicopter parents they are. i actually got what i registered as looks of pity from these people! wait a minute....I'M not the one sitting here watching these little ankle biters running around while wishing to be whisked away...oh no! i'm here happily stuffing my face while stuffing my nose into a book. my world is zen...i have no curtain climbers ruining MY evening thank-you-very-much though i do digress....

after this outing, i decided that the perfect evening for me would be a night of wine and chick flicks. this is unusual for me, i'm not a weep at the movies type of gal (i have zac for this), but i am very much a supporter of the kill-a-bottle-of-wine-alone---no-it's-not-sad-at-all school of thought. i decided that i would download (thanks netflix!!) steel magnolias i love ouiser and the movie cracks me up before it makes me sob.

i whiz through kroger. pick up bottle 'o red and some chips. i am ready. i go to the u scan.(sidebar- my step dad and my grandma don't like to use these. they say it's because using them means you're not using a cashier, thus driving the need down and causing cashiers everywhere to lose their jobs. i think they're really just afraid of the machine that talks to you in a cute, back woods kind of way...) because i bought wine, and because the lady is so sweet, i had to show my id to the cashier before i could continue. i go over to do so, and have to stand in line because she was helping some old fart who couldn't figure out the newfangled gizmo thang...

i show my proof of age and the turn to finish up my order. and there, standing by my wine is the biggest....the scariest looking woman i've ever seen. she's mammoth ok? and not like stuck in the house, someone call the fire department, gilbert grape's mama big...oh no.. this is the my harley and my woman are outside waiting for me to pick up some red meat and tobacco and some ice cold natty light type o gal. she's frightening. i say( more meekly than i'm proud of) "i'm not finished." she says oh and then stands there. breathing on me.....watching me finish my order...i'm about to swipe my card and i turn to her and summon up the courage, knowing that i just may be found in pieces scattered in the parking lot with harley tire tracks on my face later, and say-"can you move back please?"

girl was in my bubble, you know what i mean??? i'm not a shy person, i'm ok with human contact, but GET OUT OF MY SPACE!! remember dirty dancing? THIS (arm sweeping happens here ) is my space...THAT is yours. this woman had no concept of personal space. she did back up and i did finish. i also scooted my chunky ass out the door and into my car a wee bit quicker than normal. a girl can never be too sure.


  1. What is it with these stores and their card machines. PIN's are to be secret right? But like you, there is always someone right on your ass that can grab a gander as you punch the number in. Not all machines have a swivel base either. (Like Kroger) I'm with you, my even chubbier ass would have been scooting rapidly. SO THERE ZAC!!

  2. lol you doofus, I can just picture it....I, unlike your gramma and stepdad DO use those, soooooo much quicker

  3. What is messed up about the whole thing is that I go to this website, see your twitter update, and THEN notice you don't have blood in your eye anymore.

  4. JHo, nice!

    christy, you TWITTER?!?!?!

    and why you gotta cut on me TWICE in one post?

  5. Josh refuses to use the automated check outs because like the old fart from your story, he can't figure them out either. LOL