Friday, October 30, 2009

another conversation

i'm at work and while i'm here, justin and i communicate through google talk. this is a snippet of tonight's fun
Justin Horne: Have pizza tonite
horne.christy1: yay!!
Justin Horne: Donates from kroger. $6
horne.christy1: cool
horne.christy1: don't burn it
horne.christy1: got eggs and yogurt and frozen pizza
horne.christy1: i grabbed a couple things had to go get bday card for brian
horne.christy1: nothing much
horne.christy1: too poor
Justin Horne: Me too
horne.christy1: have to pick up pictures tmw from cord camera
horne.christy1: they weren't sure how big can make fat baby pic
horne.christy1: we'll see tmw
horne.christy1: i tried for 5x7 but may be distorted
Justin Horne: Ok
horne.christy1: may have to make it 4x6
horne.christy1: don't want blurry fat baby
horne.christy1: haha
Justin Horne: Like how her show films oprah.
horne.christy1: who's?
horne.christy1: ooo bad grammar--i mean whose?
Justin Horne: When oprah is her biggest, the hazy filter is put on the camera.
horne.christy1: ah gotcha they do?
horne.christy1: didn't know that
horne.christy1: i need a hazy filter to follow me around all day
horne.christy1: lol
Justin Horne: I drink so my life has a hazy filter
Justin Horne: Just jokin
horne.christy1: yay your hazy, dink fueled filter makes u like me!
horne.christy1: drink fueled
horne.christy1: i wish i could type w/o looking
horne.christy1: boo
Justin Horne: Its 745 and I'm yawning
horne.christy1: nap
horne.christy1: go to bed for the night
Justin Horne: I sleep when I sleep
horne.christy1: ok
horne.christy1: up to u
Justin Horne: In 2 hrs maybe a different story
horne.christy1: mmm someone brought starbursts
Justin Horne: I eating pizza
horne.christy1: ok you win
Justin Horne: }:)
horne.christy1: no fair
horne.christy1: to tease a preggo with pizza
Justin Horne: Will be here. If I don't eat it all.
horne.christy1: ok
Justin Horne: There'll be some
horne.christy1: sweet
horne.christy1: lesson of the day- do not forget that you have a tums in your mouth when you go to take a big drink of hot chocolate---ew
Justin Horne: Multi-tasker!
horne.christy1: and working too
horne.christy1: ooo just got old lady upskirt! ew
Justin Horne: That's hot
horne.christy1: ew
Justin Horne: U ran the dishes today? It wasn't full
horne.christy1: i did
Justin Horne: I have dishes I was gonna throw in and start. You messed with my friday night routine!:(
horne.christy1: ooo you party animal...sorry
Justin Horne: Now not only do I have to put dishes in, now I have to take dishes OUT!
Justin Horne: x-(
horne.christy1: <3
Justin Horne: x-(
horne.christy1: :P
Justin Horne: :'(
horne.christy1: B-)
Justin Horne: Justin Horne: All done
horne.christy1: lol
Justin Horne: I have patio door open
horne.christy1: nice
horne.christy1: beautiful out
Justin Horne: I am easedropping on a "black" argument.
horne.christy1: cool
horne.christy1: oh no you didn't
Justin Horne: The black family at adjacent bldg on 2nd floor who has gettogethers sometimes?
Justin Horne: Guess what the argument was about?
horne.christy1: money?
horne.christy1: pot?
Justin Horne: Racist?
horne.christy1: lol yes
Justin Horne: !
horne.christy1: seems i am tonight
Justin Horne: No. It wasn't about pot
Justin Horne: It was
Justin Horne: About
Justin Horne: Who was a better rapper... Jay Z or Kanye!
horne.christy1: seriously?
horne.christy1: you messing with me?
Justin Horne: Yeah. I heard who had better lyrics. And who made more money and had a bigger mansion
Justin Horne: Amazing
horne.christy1: jay z
horne.christy1: funny
horne.christy1: bet the old folks above us loved it
Justin Horne: I heard some curse words so it had to be serious.
horne.christy1: well...that's a very serious issue
horne.christy1: earth shattering
horne.christy1: lol
Justin Horne: it was like watching a WB sitcom.
horne.christy1: sorry i missed it

i miss all the good stuff!!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

twilight flu

i've never gotten the flu shot. it's not that i have anything against the idea, and i'm in the target group even when i'm not preggie (asthmatic), it's just that i figure flu happens! but, due to the baby growing (and boy is she ever!) in the belly, my doctor stressed the importance of the vaccination. he also strongly recommends the h1n1 shot. i refuse to get that one due to the fact that it's so very new, and there haven't been any long term tests done on the pregnant ladies who have received it. there have been no studies on the effects on the children born to these women. i think that it needs more research before i allow it to be placed in my body, let alone my daughter's.

anyhow...i went to kroger 2 weeks ago to get this flu shot. there was no line, and i was thrilled! i filled out the paper, and was told it would be a 20 minute wait. so, i wondered around for a bit and came back to the window. while i was waiting,i wondered if i should tell them about the cortisone shot i had gotten that morning in my left wrist. worse case scenario, in my mind, was that they would have to give me this shot in the right arm. when i asked, the pharmacist flatly told me that he would NOT allow me to have the shot at all that day. he said that the cortisone would lower my immune system, and that the flu shot would as well. he told me to wait a week and come back. so, 30 minutes wasted, great. i went back a week later, and wouldn't you know it, they were out of shots. damnit! i've been faithfully calling them every day to ask if they had received more--no luck.

last night, i was at work and hearing stories from friends who are sick, or know someone who is and i sent a message to justin asking him to look around for other possible sites for me to get this elusive shot. he found out that the cvs near our apt was giving them out today from 3p-7p (or until they ran out).

i wondered all morning what time i should get to the cvs. i didn't want to show up too early and be leered at for wandering the aisles. i also didn't want to show up just to stand in line forever and have them run out. i went at 130p. -yes, an hour and a half before they were to pass them out. i pulled in and noticed several cars with people just hanging out in them. after a brief conversation with jus (in which i told him that i really didn't want to wait forever) i decided to go in the store to see how many people were waiting. i made my way back to the pharmacy area and saw several people. i asked if that was where we needed to wait for the shot and was told to get a number. i waited in line at the register to be given the number 22. "not too bad", i thought and i took a seat. this woman sat next to me with a tiny baby in her arms. she was young and (how should i say this nicely???) what my gran may refer to as "white trash". her baby looked underdressed and was super super cute. she was feeding her a bottle; she immediately saw my belly and apparently thought that my open book was a sign that i wanted to talk.

lady w/baby (lwb) "you should go to the hospital."

me "pardon?"

lwb- " for the shot, they'll give it to you, you know. and the h1n1 shot."

me " i don't want the h1n1 shot."

looks at me like i just said that i hoped my baby was born with 18 eyes..."you HAVE TO GET IT"

i then try to smile and pick up my book....she really must think that this is a hint to keep talking because she proceeded to tell me all about how she had only gained 10 lbs the whole time she was pregnant, how she was pissed that she couldn't go to cedar point while she was pregnant, and how she (unlike her friends, or "homies" as she called them) waited until she was at least 20 to have her baby. i gave up on my book at this point (ignoring her the whole time)and started messaging justin

m-"next to world's biggest blabbermouth"

m- "kill me"

j- :-( (he's a man of few words)

m- "this blows. shoulda pretended to be deaf. to late now damnit"

m- " she has to tell me all abt her pregnancy. already getting lectured about h1n1"

around this time, i overhear a woman telling someone that the shots are cash or check only. i ask her to make sure and then approach the pharmacist. she confirms this. damnit. i never have cash. so i go to the front of the store, and buy gum and get cash back. when i get back, not only to i have a seat still, but trashy, lecture mom is gone!!!

i sit, and sit, and sit..then we're told that we have to move the chairs we're sitting in to make space for the tables they need to set up. so preggo me is helping old farts of varied mobility move and carry chairs. they set us up in a single row going down the vitamin aisle. i find myself next to a tammy fae wannabe and an ancient man who has nose hairs that closely resemble and octopus' tentacles as they reach out to smother its prey (at least i'm guessing that that's what it would look like from the fish's point of view) nose hair likes to talk at about 100 decibels and he goes on and on about his various afflictions( 2 strokes, heart attack, bunyons and constipation), and how he can't believe how much the government charges for this shot. he also screams that anything the government touches can't be trusted, and he doesn't know why he has to get this shot anyhow...after all he made it through the asian flu.....sigh

during this time, jus and i decide (after my "this kid soooo owes me" comment) that we should start an excel spreadsheet for olivia listing all the things she "owes" us for. we decided that "giving her life" would be a freebie. we will give this list to her in her birthday card on her 18th birthday so she can start making amends.

it started to get really crowded and i dutifully noted on my facebook that it "smelled like old people and dirty diapers" in line. and it did....what a mess!!

then, in walks in a deaf guy i have interpreted for. he grabs me up in a big hug (culturally appropriate) and smashes my face into his chest hair because he has his hawaiian shirt mostly unbuttoned in true miami vice style (NOT appropriate). he's sweet, but um how do i say....he's annoying as fuck. to top it off, he knows tammy fae (they used to work together) and he quickly begins to use me as his interpreter to catch up.

i finally got my shot (after another lecture from the shot giver on why i needed to get the h1n1 shot) and got out of there at 330p. 2 freaking hours!!! i won't even stand that long in line for the new twilight movie and i love twilight!

i have to add this beauty from yesterday.......

i hadn't eaten much all day and i was starving. in the weird way of pregnancy cravings, i knew i HAD TO HAVE a meatball from marcella's. and pecorino cheese. i grabbed my book, and went to the restaurant. i got the meatball and the pecorino cheese (comes with honey and green apples YUM!!!!) i killed it (and in the meantime managed to spill honey on my belly). my hot ass waiter came over and said that he would bring my check. i had to stop him and say, "actually, i want to order more food." how horrifying! but i wasn't full! just the look he gave me screamed "moo".

and...random thought #2--

i had a dream last night that my friend was dating a large, black woman. odd since he's gay. anyhow...all i really remember about the dream was teasing him over and over about that fact that he liked "dark meat". i really think that i'm losing my mind!

ok, off to work. bye all

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

random funny

to understand part of this, you have to know that on the day this conversation took place, luke decided to sit atop what i call the kitty tower (a 2 story, carpeted climbing thing) and projectile vomit. at 4 am. lovely way to start the day right? so this is a funny(at least i think so ) im'ed conversation between justin and me.

me-weird dreams again all night. leroy fodor made a cameo. i think i'm going crazy.

jus-did u dream about a cat projectile vomiting? i did.

m- lol i did! how weird!

about 20 min later.....

m-wonder how i can get her to stop kicking me in the vag? :-)

j- need me to step in? ;-)

m- maybe. got anything you can poke around in there?

j- i got a small noodle that may do the job.

m- lmao we'll have to try it out. :-D

j- i'm funny

m- you are

j- i should document my one liners

m- would make a great book that people could read on the toilet :-D

since we don't see each other much with the opposite scheduled, we im each other on and off all day. these are the important chats we have!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

oh baby!

so now that i can feel and use my hands, this preggy thing isn't all too bad. i think had i not been in pain for weeks and weeks, and had been able to sleep, i would have enjoyed that second trimester. but now i find myself in the last week of the 2nd trimester, with the home stretch looming ahead of me (um yeah...due date is 98 days away...eek!) wondering if i can slow down time so i can (maybe) get everything ready.

this journey for me has had loads of cons and only a few (precious few) pros. let's see:


getting fat- i know, i know-i can hear you all clucking and shaking your heads. but having this happen when i was so very close to my goal weight has been a bitter pill to swallow. i know i can lose it again and i know it wasn't all for naught, but every now and again i catch sight of my ginormous ass in the mirror and want to weep.

everyone passing judgement- and i mean judging me for everything, i've heard "i hope that's decaf" while i was holding a starbucks cup, gotten the stank eye when i enjoyed a bit of red wine at dinner, had people tell me they think i've gained too much weight, heard people gasp and sigh over that fact that i'm still weight lifting, and heard why everyone thinks i should get the new h1n1 shot. (i've decided against it)

the crazy shit happening with my body--no, not just the gigantor belly i'm sporting,but the weird, people-just-don't-talk-about-it shit. like moles growing, yeah, you heard me. i have a mole, have had it forever, it used to be a flat, very unassuming mole. now, being the astute observer i am, i'm aware of the advice that if a mole changes shape and/or color that this is a bad sign. so, when this previously unobtrusive mole started growing and looking all dangly like a skin tag, i kinda panicked. like a good little patient, i went scooting to the dr only to be told that this was a side effect of all the hormones in my pregnant body. um what??? "don't worry," the dr says, "you can have it removed after the baby comes if it bothers you." so now i get to pay for mole removal too... another weird shit happening to my body thing is the, i had heard that the belly will itch due to the skin stretching and lemme tell the end of the day, when i take my shirt off and have at it, it looks like i've been attacked by wolverine! but anyhow, the itching that makes me crazy is of another kind (squeamish? look away now)let's just say that everything my underwear (you know the granny panties i've grown into) covers itches like mad. and i mean everything! again, i was a good girl and spoke to the dr about it (we have no secrets) and was told another normal part of this beautiful experience.

let's focus on the good, shall we?

#1 without a doubt wonderful thing--feeling her move. it's kinda creepy at times, and when she rolls over it makes me nauseous, but it's cool. very reassuring to know she's ok and moving around. granted, sometimes i think she's doing some tae bo or something, the kicks are not only strong, but rhythmic.

#2 how interested justin is in feeling her move. he's always feeling up my belly and he quite often falls asleep with his hand on it. it's so sweet! (sorry honey if this makes you blush) every time she is kicking and he tries to feel it, she stops. he has had her kick him in the face a few times when he put he face on my belly and talked to her.

AND believe it or not, sometimes the belly is a cool thing. i often catch myself checking it out and marveling at it. sounds corny, but it's amazing to see.

all this babyness had me looking through my own baby book today and i came across something funny. so funny that i had to call my mother just to harass her. when she answered, i said "so is it appropriate to give a 3 mth old a turkey leg bone to chew on?" she says, " a 3 mth old? no!" to which i reply, " well it seems that you gave me one on my 1st thanksgiving!" i think she was embarrassed, and she quickly blamed it on her father (which i can totally see) in my baby book, that's what it said "gave you a turkey leg bone to chew on, but you kept sticking it under your dress. " and yes, i was 3 mths old! lol sorry mom, just had to share!

ok, i'm working right now, and this blog literally has taken me 3 hrs to type, so i guess i'd better go. later all!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

"cat" astrophy 2, 3, 4....

well, i have a lot of catching up to wrists got to be very bad and quite painful for several weeks- leaving me unable to do so much as write with a pen, let alone type. I missed a few days of work-luckily this "spell" happened to fall when i was between full time jobs. i was sleeping only a few hours a night (so was justin because i would wake him up sobbing in pain). but i've since had cortisone shots in both wrists, the right last week and the left two days ago, and while my fingers are numb 24/7, i have no more pain and swelling :-)

so...after the cat drama, and in the middle of my most painful time, we had EVEN MORE DRAMA!

picture it---friday morning in columbus. i had slept only a few hours the night before. i decided to sit on the couch with the sliding patio door open to enjoy the cool air. all of the sudden luke comes flying in the house with something furry in his mouth! by the time i got my fat, preggy ass off the loveseat, he was halfway down the hall. i kicked him and he dropped his "hostage". luke ran to the bedroom and i kicked the unwanted guest ( a chipmunk) towards the living room. he scooted that way and quickly ran under the bookcase. (yes- the very same bookcase the mouse has resided under mere days before)

i lost my shit at this point. i was tired and emotional and started screaming and crying. of course i sent a message to justin and then called my mother(like she can do anything 2 hrs away). she tries to calm me down best she can and i decide that i'm going to get the little fucker out of my house one way or another. we hang up and i proceed to take books from the shelves, all the while sobbing like a woman gone mad and cursing the blessed cat. ( i wish i could have been able to see myself at this point-what a mess!) then luke (oh sweet, sweet bastard)brings in another something furry. after another kicking in the hall, he dropped it. IT WAS A BLOODY CHIPMUNK TAIL! the fukker had ripped the poor 'munk's ass off! after a tearful, pleading call, justin drove all the way home to help me get the chipmunk out of the apt. i think he was afraid that i had experienced an honest-to-goodness mental breakdown by this point.

so he comes home, and we shoo the poor, ass-less, bleeding rodent out and justin goes back to work. i try to chill for a minute, and my cousin shows up to help me with my shower invitations. this sweet, sweet child has a pumpkin spice latte from starbucks in her hands. ( i found out later that my mother had called her and prepared her for the hot mess she was about to encounter) I needed her help because i had to tie ribbons onto the invites, and couldn't due to my hands. anyhow....

we're working away on the invitations, (the door is now closed) and i'm calming down. luke kept trying to steal the ribbon from me, so i threw him a piece (abt a foot long ) to play with and to leave me the hell alone. now, i have to say, my cats are 4 and i've given them ribbons to play with on many different occasions. i look down a few minutes later in time to see him trying to swallow something. i grab him and yank open his mouth--too late--ribbon GONE. i call the vet to be told that i had three options:

1. see if it passes, with the understanding that if it doesn't, he will require surgery that costs at least $1000

2. bring him in and they would try to use a scope to get it ($600)

3. try to induce vomiting using peroxide

i opt for lucky #3 and jessie and i administer the peroxide as directed. he pukes-i see ribbon! i think all is well...OH SO VERY VERY WRONG

she leaves and several hours later i realize that luke has puked many times after the peroxide. hrmmm i think, "well i would puke too, probably irritated the bejesus outta his biggie" and i leave for work.

while i'm at work, i get a message from jus "when you were home, was luke puking blood?" uh no... he tells me there are "flecks" of blood in the vomit and that the cat is puking several times an hour. G-R-E-A-T

by the time i get home a couple hours later there are no "flecks", it's just blood. off we go to kitty er. they keep luke that night to give him fluids via IV and to medicate him. we get home after 1 am (at this point i had been awake for about 20 exhausting hours) we pick him up the next day and the poor thing is drugged, has a shaved forearm and is on 4 different medications. his bill was around 400 ( i forget exactly how much, i think i've blacked it out of my memory) we spend the day watching over him like nervous parents and medicating the holy crap out of him. (he had pepcid and painkillers among some other drugs)...we were told that if he threw up more than 3 times to take him back to dr. of course he did...back we went. we spend several hours there again while they give him More fluids and more drugs. they ask if we'd like to leave him overnight again. we were all for this until we were told it would be about $800. thanks. so we pay his second bill ($300 ish) and go home. monday he made yet another trip because he refused to eat or drink anything. (another 100) so we were given special food and a syringe to force feed him until he started eating on his own. if he didn't she said, he would need to be admitted because cats apparently will starve themselves to death if they are sick. by this time, we were looking at him as an investment an we were willing to do whatever we had to do to make him well.

by tues night, luke started eating again. it was a loooong ass ordeal that i never want to go through again. he's just fine now, and now we're dealing with his "i'll shit wherever i want to " sister. ugh--shoot me please!!!