what the fuck?

so..its my birthday. excuse me if i'm not jumping up and down.



attention all readers: this blog will be bitchy and whiny. it will be full of "woe is me" and "fuck my life" if you would rather not hear it---screw off and read something else


we came home from the valley today. i couldn't wait to get here. and i walked in to 12 piles of shit. 12 PILES. OF. SHIT. in the hall, in the bathroom, in the bedroom and ON MY MOTHERFUCKING BED. it took about a half an hour to pick it all up and scrub the carpets and floors.....still working on the laundry. then...while we were watching tv-SHE SHIT ON THE FLOOR RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!!!! yet i still feel a bit guilty at the thought of giving away a pet that i've had for four years. i know that if we take her to the shelter they will put her down. she's been to the vet. she's physically fine. i don't know what to do....

in other news...i hurt. all over. every joint in my body aches and this carpal tunnel is killing me. i feel tired and fat. i can't breathe through my nose (tho this IS a small blessing with all the shitting going on) i feel like i got no rest. also (tmi) my poor recently-operated-upon boobs are hurting and one looks like it may be developing a hole where it was sewn shut. it's like it's exploding. i know, i know---call the dr. that just means more medical bills to add to the pile on the counter. those bills that i can't pay right now and have some collections out on. honestly i don't owe much in the grand scale of things, but i just don't have the money right now. so they continue to harass me. life right now is quite shitty.

and so, i sit here on the couch...in tears and waiting for the cat to come in and shit again. how poetic